Heavier But Happier

The title says it all. Yes. Im Melissa, I'm heavier but ALOT happier. Okaaay so, first a little intro! haha  I'm starting to Blog again because I think this is how I can make myself productive, I'm gonna make this is a very informal Blog, more of an online diary, speak my mind, speaking to your guys, and hopefully a Blog that will help uplift others especially during this time when a pandemic has hit our beloved country.

Here We Go...

Alright lets get started! I definitely have grown to love who and what I am now. I remember when I first had Kiera I refused to leave the house, aside sa walang kasya sakin, I felt miserable. Why? Well first of all I was used to being stick thing, I was used to being told to be on a diet and when motherhood struck, nako, patay! I gained like 40-50 pounds. I didn't know what to do with myself, I have tried everything and any possible way to lose weight (except surgical) Well at least I tried, but maybe not hard enough until I realised that THIS is the NEW me and you know what when I accepted that I became a happier person. I guess what matter more to me before was what others thought of me and now what matters most is what I thought of me.

Who Are YOU?

It can be difficult to love yourself in this day and age, everyone has an opinion! You should do this you should be that, you shouldn't say this and so on and on to the point that when someone says something to you, or enough people tell you the same thing, you believe it. I would get comments on my social media pages na "workout ng workout di naman pumapayat" or "ano ngyari sayo sayang ka" pls explain to me paano naging sayang buhay ng isang tao dahil sa weight? How terrible. I came to a point where I was crying, I had a bad attitude, I was grumpy, I was just over all a wreck. I didn't believe in myself anymore. Its definitely took a toll on my Self confidence, self esteem and self love. It made me indulge more on things I should be eating, and living a unhealthy lifestyle. 

My Wake Up Call

I lived like this for a few years. almost a decade! I have wasted so much of my time minding if other people loved me or liked me, instead of me liking me. It was terrible, everything was to please other people and one day I just woke up and said enough, so what I gained 40-50 lbs, it just weight, the person inside hasn't change, I was still me and I miss the happy version of me. What was  my wakeup call? It was my health, I couldn't do activities I used to do, like go to the gym, go mountain climbing, and other things that I lovefd to do.  I would get tired easily, my knees would hurt, then naisip ko wait, how can I take care of Kiera if I dont take care of myself. Since that day I think little by little I gained confidence in myself again. How? By not caring what others thought, basta ako mag workout ako kasi I feel better after I do, I feel stronger and the fact that I finished a workout I feel proud of myself, a sense of achievement, and unti unti my self love starting coming back, and its still a journey, but Im definitely on my way.

Why I Workout?

I have been having unstable feelings lately, worried about absolutely everything, my family, the frontliners and most of all Kiera, I have been overthinking which is causing me stress and anxiety not know what the future holds. Like lately during this Pandemic halos twice a day ako mag workout, aside sa wala magawa, it really lessens my stress and makes me less anxious about everything. I workout for ME, it makes ME feel good, makes ME feel better, and it really just helps so much to put you energy into something productive instead of worriyng about things we cant control.

How I do it?

I get this message alot from my followers, I get dozens of Direct Messages on my IG asking "Ms Mel, paano niyo po nagagawa yan, how do you stay motivated" Honestly one thing that keep me going is YOU guys. You inspire me so much that I just cannot give up on myself because so many of you believe in me. So many of you can relate to my story and so many of you are having a hard time just like I am. I got a DM the other day saying na paano ko daw nagagawa na lagi ako postive and smiling? Trust me, Im still a wreck sometimes, I still cry, I still have bad days, there are days that we just cant manage our emotions, but not everyone sees that, not everyone knows how affected we are when they blurt out small comments or something we find offending, we just take it in, take a deep breath, smile, even though inside we die a little. You know what Im talking about? Not everyone know what your going through, not many care, so we need to do ourselves a favour and protect your thoughts, especially of yourself. I always sa, kill them with kindness, remember be kind, this is actually a reminder to myself, because in this life, not everyone will be kind to you, but it doesn't mean it gives you the right not to be kind to others. YOU have the power to BE KIND. Its alot easier to be mean trust me, being kind is hard, being mean mas madali aminin mo. hahaha The only one that can help you is YOU. Happiness is a choice, and when we choose to be happy, and believe we deserve to be happy, WE WILL.. Remember its a process, it doesnt happen overnight, but you WILL get there, we will get there together. Kaya mo yan, kaya ko to. Lets support each other on this, if you have a story you would like to tell, advice, uplifting words feel free to comment and share below, we need a world of more encourging people, more encouraging women, lets start with ourselves. We might be heavier, but we are definitely on the road to being a HAPPIER version of ourselves.


BE KIND,
Mel